Balancing Act

What does it mean to be "well balanced"? All I can say is that it seems to be what we all are striving for in our hectic day to day lives. We try to make everyone happy, make sure the bills are paid, the house is cleaned and maintained, the pets are groomed, the vehicle is running as it should, and on and on the list can go. But why? For what purpose does all of this happen? The ultimate reason. We all want a well balanced life where things go as they should and we can go to sleep with peace in our minds and hearts.

Often, or so it seems in my life and the lives of countless others that I know, we forget to make sure to take the time to care for ourselves as we care for others. A good friend of mine asked me once "Who takes care of the care-taker?" That question got me to think about why I was so burned out, so no one was getting the best I could give them. I had a "light bulb" moment. You know...one of those moments when it just all makes sense.

Imagine, if you will, that you are on a ship in the ocean. Off in the distance you can see that there is land. There is your destination. There is a storm coming in behind you and you have just noticed that you have a hole in the transom of your ship where it has rusted through. The hole is just below the surface of the water and you quickly realize the added weight of your cargo is what is keeping the hole in the water. You also realize that if you do not do something, and fast, neither you, nor your cargo will make it to port and will be lost in the storm that is coming on fast. What would you do?

I imagined myself in exactly that situation. Then I saw myself throwing those boxes of cargo over-board with the realization the waves will carry them to shore soon enough. With every box I unloaded, the rear of my ship raised just a bit more. Soon, with only my necessities aboard, the hole was raised above water and my destination was within reach, and I had the knowledge my safety was attained by letting go of the things I was so sure I had to carry.

Each of those boxes I had to throw over-board were heavy-laden with worries and sorrow, other people's problems, and some were boxes that I didn't even know I was carrying until I moved the first ones. They all would take their own path in the waters of life to reach their destination. I would be ashore waiting to receive each box, one at a time, as they came in, and strong enough to handle each one with care and respect.

First and foremost your personal peace and happiness is a must because if you cannot be at peace and feel your best, how can you possibly give your best to those you love and care for? Taking time and care for you is not selfish. It is wise, and the very best thing you can do for those you care for. As you care for and nurture yourself, you are cultivating the same kindness in those around you.

Very soon it becomes apparent that your life has become balanced, and you are not responsible for everyone's happiness. They are responsible for their own just as you are responsible for yours. You are not making them a better person, stronger or happier by carrying their sorrows and worries along with your own. You can help carry the load, but you must also pay attention to you and know when to set the extra load down.

For me, I had to know when to say when and when to take time for myself to remember the things that bring me joy. Those are the things that keep me well- balanced. Taking time to remember the things which bring me joy and then, and this is most important, sharing that joy with others.

So, I encourge you to remember your joy. Remember to take time for yourself and rest, create something, go for a walk in the park and listen to the birds sing. Do something you've always wanted to do, but have never made the time for. I promise you will see a remarkable difference in your life if you just take time for yourself first. Not only will you become more balanced and focused, those you interact with and care for the most will become more well-balanced as well.

Growing Pains

I feel as if I have been gone away on some distant planet. Obviously that is not possible, but I cannot get past the feeling that I have been away from "my life." I have been here all along. I have gone through the motions. I have smiled, sometimes. Mostly I have cried in the past year. I am still asking myself "What the hell happened?"

When Life has a growth spurt for you, it does not spare the plethora of lessons in store for you. Believe me, I know, and yet it will be something I will probably forget again because I knew it once upon a time but then I got too comfortable in my daily Life and did forget it.

I have trekked into the furthest recesses of my mind. Places I wish to never see again, and wounds I know I am stronger for having healed. I feel like an alien now though. Like I do not see the world the same as I once did. Is that a bad thing? I think not. My heart aches for my fellow man even more so now and my drive to help not only humans but animals, because they do not have a voice, is ten-fold.

The oddity of it all is that I feel so incompatible in my current life now, but I have never felt so singular in Spirit with all that surrounds me. I used to have to go to the wildlife refuge to find peace and stillness within myself and now I find it even in the midst of chaos it seems. I have worked hard on those things which bound me to my past because I refused to carry them one step further. I refused to carry those scars any longer.

As the people around me have lovingly come to me recently and expressed their concern about my "not being the same," it has brought my attention and focus back to the Now. In a sense, I guess I have been gone. I was traveling to the past traumas and coping with them and reordering them in my adult, healthy mind. All but the physical part of my body was time traveling, I suppose, and sometimes, even my body had a physical reaction to the deeply buried memories. I indeed am not the same.

I also suppose unless you have been a victim of severe trauma and have worked through it, my ramblings will not make sense to you one bit. Even the best of the professionals, and I do know some, cannot know what it is like completely unless they have fought on this battle ground. Yet that is why, I remind myself, that is why Psychology is my major and why I have a drive to succeed: I know what it is like.

I rather like the new me a little more. I seem to have more compassion, less temper. There is nothing wrong with an experience that teaches one to be humble and to lift others up. By understanding myself, I understand my world just a little more, or at least my perception of it.

I may feel contrary now, but I am certain that my Life is going exactly as it is supposed to be going. In that much, I have Faith, and all the rest...well it will work itself out.