What does it mean to be "well balanced"? All I can say is that it seems to be what we all are striving for in our hectic day to day lives. We try to make everyone happy, make sure the bills are paid, the house is cleaned and maintained, the pets are groomed, the vehicle is running as it should, and on and on the list can go. But why? For what purpose does all of this happen? The ultimate reason. We all want a well balanced life where things go as they should and we can go to sleep with peace in our minds and hearts.
Often, or so it seems in my life and the lives of countless others that I know, we forget to make sure to take the time to care for ourselves as we care for others. A good friend of mine asked me once "Who takes care of the care-taker?" That question got me to think about why I was so burned out, so no one was getting the best I could give them. I had a "light bulb" moment. You know...one of those moments when it just all makes sense.
Imagine, if you will, that you are on a ship in the ocean. Off in the distance you can see that there is land. There is your destination. There is a storm coming in behind you and you have just noticed that you have a hole in the transom of your ship where it has rusted through. The hole is just below the surface of the water and you quickly realize the added weight of your cargo is what is keeping the hole in the water. You also realize that if you do not do something, and fast, neither you, nor your cargo will make it to port and will be lost in the storm that is coming on fast. What would you do?
I imagined myself in exactly that situation. Then I saw myself throwing those boxes of cargo over-board with the realization the waves will carry them to shore soon enough. With every box I unloaded, the rear of my ship raised just a bit more. Soon, with only my necessities aboard, the hole was raised above water and my destination was within reach, and I had the knowledge my safety was attained by letting go of the things I was so sure I had to carry.
Each of those boxes I had to throw over-board were heavy-laden with worries and sorrow, other people's problems, and some were boxes that I didn't even know I was carrying until I moved the first ones. They all would take their own path in the waters of life to reach their destination. I would be ashore waiting to receive each box, one at a time, as they came in, and strong enough to handle each one with care and respect.
First and foremost your personal peace and happiness is a must because if you cannot be at peace and feel your best, how can you possibly give your best to those you love and care for? Taking time and care for you is not selfish. It is wise, and the very best thing you can do for those you care for. As you care for and nurture yourself, you are cultivating the same kindness in those around you.
Very soon it becomes apparent that your life has become balanced, and you are not responsible for everyone's happiness. They are responsible for their own just as you are responsible for yours. You are not making them a better person, stronger or happier by carrying their sorrows and worries along with your own. You can help carry the load, but you must also pay attention to you and know when to set the extra load down.
For me, I had to know when to say when and when to take time for myself to remember the things that bring me joy. Those are the things that keep me well- balanced. Taking time to remember the things which bring me joy and then, and this is most important, sharing that joy with others.
So, I encourge you to remember your joy. Remember to take time for yourself and rest, create something, go for a walk in the park and listen to the birds sing. Do something you've always wanted to do, but have never made the time for. I promise you will see a remarkable difference in your life if you just take time for yourself first. Not only will you become more balanced and focused, those you interact with and care for the most will become more well-balanced as well.
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